


Dear X,

by mizzenmast



Category: The Ultimate Sidemen, sidemen - Fandom
Genre: BoyxBoy, Fluff, Letters, Love, Love Letters, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-05
Updated: 2019-01-26
Packaged: 2019-09-29 14:22:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 2,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17205008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mizzenmast/pseuds/mizzenmast
Summary: where they write letters thinking no one else will ever read them but themselves.





	1. monday 16th of june

**Author's Note:**

> no capital letters because i cba sorry.
> 
> also, this is a drabble and im actually shit at writing so bare with my spanish ass thank you.

 

_dear simon,_

_i'm writing this letter because i've had a shit day and somehow you always seem to make me feel better so_

_i thought writing to you would also lift me up a little. you know? you looked so cute today when we were_

_out with the boys, just hearing you laugh made my heart full. it sounds cheesy and i'm actually cringing myself_

_but i can't help but feel happy around you. but i bet it's not just me, you make us all happy, you always seem_

_to have the best outlook on life and that's something i hope no one ever takes away from you._

_it's 11pm and i'm in my room writing love letters to you._

 

_bog._

 


	2. tuesday 17th of june

_dear harry,_

_i couldn't help but feel like i need to write this, you know, to let myself go a little._

_it's not like you'll ever read these. anyways, yesterday i saw you a little off, i was scared to ask,_

_i didn't want to put you in an uncomfortable position so instead i made jokes to try and make you laugh._

_i think it worked, at least i saw you smile a couple of times and that brought me so much joy._

_i don't like seeing you sad, it makes me want to hug you forever and lay down with you and caress your cheeks_

_until they're rosy and you start complaining the way you always do. i love it when you complain about things,_

_you always scrunch your nose and close your eyes a little, it's so cute. i hope you're forever happy._

_its 2am and i'm in my bed and as usual you're the only thing in my head._

 

_minter._


	3. friday 20th of june

_dear simon,_

_i don't know if you even noticed but yesterday i couldn't stop myself from looking at you, you just looked_

_so gorgeous i couldn't help myself. i think vikk noticed but i'm not too worried about_

_what he might think, he's too innocent to take anything out of it. if he was to tell you what he saw_

_i would be_ _so embarrassed i wouldn't show up at your house in three months. anyways, today i went out_

_with tobi to grab lunch and buy some props for a video we're filming tomorrow and i bought a shirt_

_i know you would like, i bought the large size in case that, for some miracle in life, we get together_

_and you want to steal my clothes, i'll have that shirt ready to be stolen by you only._

_anyways i have to stop writing because freezy is about to come home and i don't want him to catch me in fraganti._

 

_bog._


	4. tuesday 1st of july

_dear harry,_

_i haven't written to you in a week or so, we've been so caught up with work i could barely sleep._

_i'm so excited for what's to come, but even more excited that we get to do it together._

_i always thought traveling with you would be the best, you're so funny and sometimes_

_you don't even try. you really are fantastic. i don't know if when we go on tour i'll be able to write_

_these letters to express myself since we'll be together every day and i don't want to risk_

_you catching me. it'd be so embarrassing and a little bit (not to say a lot) creepy if you were ever to read them._

_we'll see what happens. i really hope i get to spend some time alone with you. even though,_

_i don't know if i'll be able to keep hiding my subtle glances that will horrifyingly become exaggerated stares._

_minter._


	5. monday 1st of august

_dear simon,_

_today we start our tour through the UK, i'm writing this as i'm waiting in the airport for you guys,_

_my plane from guernsey moved up and we flew an hour earlier than expected. i really hope we get to spend time together_

_and somehow i really wish we get paired up for hotel rooms, so you know, we can have some privacy._

_i sound like a perv and i really don't mean to. i know for a fact nothing will happen with us since you're straight,_

_but i can't help but have a little hope, even a 0.01% can make me feel a little bit happier. i think i'm just rambling now and_

_i just got a text message from you saying you were 2 minutes away so i better end this letter and_

_hide the notebook in my bag before you see me and ask me about it. i don't want you reading these ever._

 

_bog._


	6. wednesday 3rd of august

_dear harry,_

_i write this as i'm alone in my hotel room, we started our tour three days ago and we haven't_

_had one single moment alone, it makes me sad. you look happy though so i'm happy for you,_

_i'm okay as well but i'd be so much better if you were with me at all times._

_today we're flying to newcastle and i'm waiting for you to come pick me up since we said_

_we'd grab lunch together before we left. you're already 10 minutes late and i'm worried something's_

_happened. i don't want to panic and certainly i don't want to feel sad if you cancel the plans,_

_but i know i will be and that makes me sad, because if it weren't you who cancelled i would be totally fine_

_but because it is you it'd make me feel terrible. i'm just rambling now and trying to pass time while you get me._

_please don't cancel on me, i've been looking forward to this date (even though you don't know it is one) since we said it._

_i hope you get here soon, i want to see your beautiful face, your cute smile and your blue eyes._

 

_minter._


	7. thursday 4th of august

_dear simon,_

_yesterday was terrible and i hope i could tell you how sorry i am without having_

_to tell you how i feel about you. i wish it had been only us two but tobi and ethan_

_saw me on my way to get you and decided to come along. i couldn't say no, it'd blow my cover_

_if i did, so i faked a very believable smile. even though i don't think you cared much if they came along,_

_i think i saw some disappointment in your face when you opened the door. were you expecting me alone?_

_did you want it to be only us two? i really did. and i know i'm just seeing things i shouldn't but_

_that made me wonder all day long, why would you be disappointed to see tobi and ethan come along?_

_maybe i'm just overthinking this, so i'll stop thinking about it before i get myself in too deep._

_anyways, you look very cute today in that blue sweatshirt, it looks like you just wore it for me._

 

_bog._


	8. sunday 7th of august

_dear harry,_

_this is the second letter i write to you while we are on this tour and honestly_

_if it weren't for them i wouldn't be so composed. it helps me calm down and let things out of my chest_

_like how annoying ethan is being all the time saying how much i look at you._

_i mean, alright i do look at you non-stop but can he shut up? i don't want you knowing about it._

_even though you don't seem to be noticing many things, you look like you're in your own world,_

_i'd like to know what you're thinking about, is it tour? is it fifa? is it herb? or maybe, just maybe..._

_could it be me? i don't know why i'm writing this when i know you're as straight as they come_

_and i have no chances with you but i just hope we could have some time together so i could_

_figure out what to do with what i feel and how i feel about you._

 

_minter._


	9. wednesday 10th of august

_dear simon,_

_today was incredible, i loved spending time with you and i'm so glad we could get a room together._

_fucking finally! i know nothing is going to happen but just being able to talk to you_

_alone is enough for me. i'm writing this while you're in the shower and i can't help but imagine you_

_coming out of there with a towel on your waist and a few drops on your torso while running_

_a hand through your hair. very cliché i know, but also very fucking hot. anyways, you looked really cute_

_today and i loved the feeling when you grabbed my hand when josh scared you, i want to_

_hold your hand forever and never let it go, it felt so right. you said i had a really cute laugh_

_today and i don't think you've ever complimented me like that ever so i have_

_your voice saying it over and over in my head like a recording. you are amazing and you make me so happy._

_you just called my name while in the shower because you forgot your towel on the bed and i had_

_to bring it to you, i don't think you know this but you are really hot._

 

_bog._


	10. saturday 13th of august

_dear harry,_

_these last few days have been the best, we got to share a room together and_

_i have to admit, even though it's pretty creepy, you're really cute when you're asleep._

_it's 9am right now and i'm writing this while you're still sleeping so you don't catch me_

_writing this to you. yesterday after we came back from that party we got invited to, you were so_

_tired and probably sleep walking at that point, i don't think you'll remember this when you wake up_

_but you said you loved me, and i quote "so much", i didn't know how to react or if i should say it back_

_but i knew you said it in a friend way, you were probably drunk and very tired._ _i_ _t can happen._

_anyways that just made me think how much i'd want you to say that to me in another way,_

_the same way i'd say it to you, but it won't happen and i'm starting to accept that. but that doesn't_

_mean my feelings for you will fade, i think i'll just feel this way forever but that doesn't pain me._

 

_minter._


	11. monday 15th of august

_dear simon,_

_i don't know how to describe today, it was a good day for the most part,_

_i loved meeting the people that came to meet us, it was fun and dynamic_

_and not at all boring. i saw you were smiling all the time... and god, that smile_

_suits you perfectly. everyone was really kind and enjoying themselves and that_

_couldn't make me any happier, i truly do love my job. but then, it all went to shit._

_i'm sharing room with vikk at this time and i think i told you how he caught me_

_staring at you a while back... well he asked me about that. i froze and didn't know_

_how to respond, i didn't expect that from him. anyways, he told me how he knew i had_

_something for you and i tried to deny it but i failed miserably, you know i can't lie to vikk._

_i ended up telling him a few things and he promised me he wouldn't say anything to anyone._

_even though i trust vikk, i don't feel comfortable knowing someone else knows my deepest secret,_

_and if by any chance you find out about it, i wouldn't be able to handle your reaction. would you be_

_disgusted? would you stop talking to me? would you talk to the boys and kick me out of the sidemen?_

_god, i really don't want you to find out, it would break me in every way. i'm scared something might happen._

 

_bog._


	12. saturday 21st of august

_dear harry,_

_this past few days have been weird, you've been acting strange and i've had the feeling_

_you've been ignoring me or blowing me off many times. it's made me feel like shit._

_have i done something? what can i do to make it better? i swear i didn't do anything_

_intentionally and you acting like this is making me worry. i've noticed you've been talking_

_to vikk more secretly than normal and i can't help but think you know something._

_has vikk found out about the letters? if he has... how did he know about them? i really hope_

_he hasn't said anything to you about these because i would rather die before you could read them._

_anyways, i don't want to overthink this situation because i'll get anxious and be really sad._

_changing topic sporadically, today jide said something funny that you didn't quite understand_

_and your face of confusion when all of us laughed was priceless and beautiful. i wanted to explain_

_the joke to you but keeping in mind how you had been acting around me i wasn't quite sure you'd_

_appreciate my input and while i was debating whether or not i should do it tobi did it before me._

_i would explain all the jokes in the world to you if you'd let me._

 

_minter._


	13. wednesday 25th of august

_dear simon,_

_you've been really sad lately and i can't help but think i'm_

_part of the reason why. i know i've been acting like a huge asshole_

_this past few days and you even asked me why i was acting so strange._

_i didn't know how to tell you that i wanted to distance myself from you so_

_the other guys wouldn't make the same connection vikk has already done._

_last night when we were out for dinner i could see you on the other side of the table_

_looking at me with sad look on your face, i swear the only thing i wanted to do in_

_that moment was to stand up, walk over to you and give you the best kiss. i feel awful_

_for doing this and i don't want you to think i have something against you, i just don't want_

_tobi or ethan to find out about me and how i feel about you. i was ok with how things_

_were before. i blame myself for causing you pain, but at the same time how can i tell you_

_how sorry i am without telling you the whole truth? i could never make up an excuse and lie_

_to you. i just hope you're able to deal with me for a few more days until i find out what i can_

_do to not be so scared anymore and be with you the same way i was before. it's just complicated._

_i hope you can understand one day._

 

_bog._


	14. sunday 29th of august

_dear harry,_

_i am speechless. i don't know what to do or think._

_i don't know whether i should be happy or terrified._

_harold, do you like me?_

 

_minter._


End file.
